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我常给女友说，遇事儿慌张的时候，喝口水就会镇静下来。
那天，我失足落水，她看见我十分慌张，便喊：“别慌！快喝口水！” -
怎么撩男孩子？我闺蜜说很简单，拿出防晒霜，故意挤了很多，然后娇嗔：“哎呀，不小心弄多了，来，伸手。。。”
再把多出来的防晒霜涂到男生手上，注意双手紧紧包住他的手，反复涂匀，十有八九他就是你的了，这招数简直是恶魔啊。。。 -
A friend of mine was giving an english lesson to a class of adult who had recently come to live in the united states. after placing quite a number of everyday objects on a table, he asked various members of the class to give him the ruler, the book, the pen and so on. the class went very smoothly and the students seemed interested and serious about the work that they were engaged in until when my ……
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A man who had been married for ten years was consulting a marriage counselor."when i was first married, i was very happy. i'd come home from a hard day down at the shop, and my little dog would race around barking, and my wife would bring me my slippers. now everything's changed. when i come home, my dog brings me my slippers, and my wife barks at me.""i don't know what ……
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"I can always tell a graduate class from an undergraduate class," observed the instructor in one of my graduate engineering courses at california state university in los angeles. "when i say, 'good afternoon,' the undergraduates respond, 'good afternoon." but the graduate students just write it down." “研究生班和本科生很容易就能区别开来，”在洛杉矶加利福利亚州立大学给我们研究生上工程学课的老师如此说。“我说‘下午好’，……
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A story around campus has it taht a student once sent a telegram to his parents reading: "mom - flunked all courses. kicked out of school. prepare pop."two days later he received a response: "pop prepared. prepare yourself."校园里流传着这样的故事：一个学生一次给父母拍了一份电报，上面写着：“妈妈－我所有功课都不及格，被学校开除。让爸爸做好准备。”两天以后，他收到了回电：“爸爸已准备好。你自己做好准备吧！”……
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My son, who made the dean's list in his freshman year at ball state university in muncie, ind., called home a few weeks after starting his sophomore year as a psychology student."mom," he said excitely, "i have found the answer to surviving college! it isn't the grades that are so important, but the quality of what is learned and how it is applied to daily life. i'm luck……
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我有一个养狗的朋友，某天到他家作客，他媳妇非要给我展现一个绝技。她问：“1加1等于？”
“汪汪！”
“2乘3？”
“汪汪汪汪汪汪！”
“9开平方？”
“汪汪汪！”
我完全被眼前的景象所惊呆，她到底是如何办到的？竟能让她老公乖乖学狗叫。。。 -
老婆：“老公，跟你讲个赶人(感人)的故事吧？”
我：“好啊！”
老婆：“滚”
我。。。 -
那会儿，刚拿了驾照。急忙跟媳妇商量：你看，我经常在外面跑，是不是也该有个挡风遮雨的家伙了？
下雨淋不到头，刮风吹不到顶。出去还倍有面儿！
媳妇听了犹豫好久，最后也没吭声。。。
第二天，媳妇拿着钱，一咬牙，就给我买了个摩托车头盔！
