-
老师：“今天我们的作文是《致老师》，请同学们认真的写哦！”
小明：“老师，你有病还是去医院吧，我们治不了！”
老师：滚！ -
课堂上，老师出上联：“香花不红，红花不香，玫瑰花又红又香。”
小明：“响屁不臭，臭屁不响，连环屁又臭又响。”
老师：“滚出去放屁去！” -
课堂上，老师让用“ 有 有 有 有”造句子，提问到小强时，小强：操场上有人踢球，有人跑步，有人跳绳，有人唱歌。
提问到小明时，小明：我今天去同学家玩，结果是关门的，我敲着门问：有人吗？有人吗？有人吗？没有人我就回家了！
老师。。。 -
第一节心理学课堂上，老师：你们谁知道什么是心理学。
老师让小明回答，小明站起来想了想，说：我可能打不过你，但是我可以诈唬住你！
老师。。。 -
In the veterinary office where I'm a technician, we mail out reminders when pets are due for vaccinations. Bruno, a German shepherd, arrived for his annual rabies shot, and we were required by state law to ask his owner if Bruno had bitten anyone in the last ten days. "Oh yes, in fact that's why we're here," she replied. Surprised, I told her we assumed they'd come in bec……
-
While proudly showing off his new apartment to friends, a college student led the way into the den. "What is the big brass gong and hammer for?" one of his friends asked. "That is the talking clock," the man replied. "How's it work?""Watch," the man said and proceeded to give the gong an ear shattering pound with the hammer. Suddenly, someone screamed fr……
-
妈妈：“别人给你东西吃，你该怎么说？”
儿子：“还有吗？” -
刚挤牙膏准备刷牙，谁知道这支新买的牙膏有半管子都是空的。
闺女在旁边看了半天，突然说：老爸，我觉得这牙膏和你一样，受了不少窝囊气吧！
我。。。 -
下班回来，看到侄女和弟弟在玩过家家，小侄女正在给弟弟把脉，
只见小侄女摇头晃脑好半天，眼睛一睁惊喜的说道：恭喜，恭喜！你有喜了。。。 -
我教育儿子说：“以后娶老婆别娶漂亮的，容易出轨。”
儿子满口答应说：“嗯，要娶妈妈这样丑的。”
老婆顿时就不淡定了。。。
