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和老婆在街上闲逛，突然看见前女友，本不想搭理。
她却对我喊到“呦，听说你结婚了，几年不见，还是这个屌丝样……”
这时老婆突然对我吼道：“啥！你还有老婆，你对我的爱也是假的吗？那你为什么给我买车买房！” -
去年中秋带儿子回老家，在地里抓了只野兔。
吃饭时，儿子盯着盘子里的兔肉怜悯道：“兔妈妈会伤心吗？”
我：“应该会吧！”
儿子：“那我们把兔妈妈也抓回来吃了吧！” -
A friend of mine was giving an english lesson to a class of adult who had recently come to live in the united states. after placing quite a number of everyday objects on a table, he asked various members of the class to give him the ruler, the book, the pen and so on. the class went very smoothly and the students seemed interested and serious about the work that they were engaged in until when my ……
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A man who had been married for ten years was consulting a marriage counselor."when i was first married, i was very happy. i'd come home from a hard day down at the shop, and my little dog would race around barking, and my wife would bring me my slippers. now everything's changed. when i come home, my dog brings me my slippers, and my wife barks at me.""i don't know what ……
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"I can always tell a graduate class from an undergraduate class," observed the instructor in one of my graduate engineering courses at california state university in los angeles. "when i say, 'good afternoon,' the undergraduates respond, 'good afternoon." but the graduate students just write it down." “研究生班和本科生很容易就能区别开来，”在洛杉矶加利福利亚州立大学给我们研究生上工程学课的老师如此说。“我说‘下午好’，……
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A story around campus has it taht a student once sent a telegram to his parents reading: "mom - flunked all courses. kicked out of school. prepare pop."two days later he received a response: "pop prepared. prepare yourself."校园里流传着这样的故事：一个学生一次给父母拍了一份电报，上面写着：“妈妈－我所有功课都不及格，被学校开除。让爸爸做好准备。”两天以后，他收到了回电：“爸爸已准备好。你自己做好准备吧！”……
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My son, who made the dean's list in his freshman year at ball state university in muncie, ind., called home a few weeks after starting his sophomore year as a psychology student."mom," he said excitely, "i have found the answer to surviving college! it isn't the grades that are so important, but the quality of what is learned and how it is applied to daily life. i'm luck……
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我有一个养狗的朋友，某天到他家作客，他媳妇非要给我展现一个绝技。她问：“1加1等于？”
“汪汪！”
“2乘3？”
“汪汪汪汪汪汪！”
“9开平方？”
“汪汪汪！”
我完全被眼前的景象所惊呆，她到底是如何办到的？竟能让她老公乖乖学狗叫。。。 -
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