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男孩不道歉，女孩说：“连个对不起都没有？”
男孩道歉，女孩说：“对不起有什么用？” -
男：“你连自己的体重都无法控制，你还能控制什么？”
女：“耳机音量和空调温度。” -
一女同事收到男朋友买的LV，在同事面前炫耀。突然一男同事对那女同事说：我给你些钱你把发票卖我。女同事不解：你要发票干吗？男同事说：女朋友一直想要一个LV，可是太贵，买不起，有了发票买个假的哄女友开心。突然女同事发现了什么打电话给男友：发票多少钱买的。男朋友惊悚：这你都知道。……
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感冒挺严重，医生说需要打针。
我到护士站，刚把半个屁股露出来，护士小姐姐在我胳膊上涂开了碘酒，然后温柔地看着我说：“把裤子穿上，皮试，打胳膊！” -
女友问我：亲爱的，你喜欢黑色还是粉色？
我一想着里面必有深意啊，于是回答说：当然是粉色啊！
她：我看中两个LV的包包，一个黑色一个粉色，不知道选哪个，既然你喜欢粉色，那你就帮我买粉色的吧！
我擦，这套路越来越深了啊。。。 -
Applying for my first job, I realized I had to be creative in listing my few qualifications. Asked about additional schooling and training, I answered truthfully that I had spent three years in computer programming classes. I got the job.I had neglected to mention that I took the same course for three years before I passed.第一次求职时，我意识到在列举我所具备的为数不多的条件时，得有点创造性。当问及我是否受过其它的培训时，我老实地回答说我花了三年时间学计算机程序设计课。我……
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Three famous surgeons were bragging about their skills. "a man came to me who had his hand cut off," said one. "today that man is a concert violinist.""that's nothing," said another. "a guy came to me who had his legs cut off. i stitched them back on, and today that man is a marathon runner.""i can top both of you," said the third. "one da……
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A hillbilly was visiting the big city for the first time. Entering an office building, he saw a pudgy older woman step into a small room. The doors closed, lights flashed, and after a while the door slid open and a beautiful young model stepped off the elevator.Blinking in amazement, the hillbilly drawled, "I should have brought my wife!"一个乡下人第一次到大城市游逛。他走进一座大楼，看见一个岁数很大的矮胖女人迈进一个小房间。房间的门随后……
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During a visit to the mental asylum, a visitor asked the director ..., "What is the criterion that defines a patient to be institutionalized?" "Well..." said the director, "we fill up a bathtub, and we offer a teaspoon, a teacup, and a bucket to the patient and ask him to empty the bathtub." "Oh, I understand," said the visitor. "A normal person would c……
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A mother mouse was out for a stroll with her babies when she spotted a cat crouched behind a bush.she watched the cat, and the cat watched the mice.mother mouse barked fiercely, "woof, woof, woof!" the cat was so terrified that it ran for its life.mother mouse turned to her babies and said, "now, do you understand the value of a second language?"老鼠妈妈带着孩子们散步的时候看见一只猫躲在树丛后面。她盯着猫，猫……
